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It's amazing, the ways people find to hurt themselves.

It's really struck home to me in the past few weeks what it means to guard your heart. It's something someone in the Bible said, I can't remember the exact reference, but it keeps coming into my head and I had to say something. If I had the chance to say anything to anyone, it would be this.

Girls, take a look at the title of this blog. This is what you are, and a thousand other things. You are precious, you are amazing, you are made in the image of God. You. Are. Royalty.

And yet, our desire to be loved ultimately and completely drives us to give our hearts away to people who simply do not deserve them. Our built-in need for that loving relationship of equals can be twisted against us.

The bottom line is this, ladies. Unless he is just as amazing as you are, he doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't look at you with awe and tell you you're beautiful (Not hot. So help me, that term is so degrading.), and realize that you are the beloved of God and the greatest gift he's ever recieved, then he's not worth the weeping and the struggle. If he is not willing to stand up in front of your father and brothers and everyone who's ever loved you, and promise that he's going to stand by you forever, then he needs to keep his damn hands off your body.

For heaven's sake, be women and not girls. Stand up for yourselves. Don't just lie there and let him take what he wants from you. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I. Hate. Deathfics.

I don't understand why people persist in writing stories simply about death or bad things without a purpose. Just because it happens in real life doesn't mean it has to be written about in the unreal one--fanfiction is my way of escaping the real world. I don't want to see it in my refuge. *scowl*

The way I see it, good fanfic should be like a puzzle, with all the pieces falling together for a reason. Not pointless angst, that's just...infuriating. Angst should be a means to an end--a contrast that makes an ending happier. Or a plot device. It shouldn't be the focus of anything...

*sigh*

The entire reason I boycotted the NJO (besides utterly horrible characterization) was the fact that there was so much senseless death. Anakin Solo and Chewbacca both died for absolutely nothing, and it made me sick. Realism, shmealism...

And this is the same reason I will most likely stay away from the stories of the author who wrote the story I read tonight for a while.

As a good friend of mine said once--the poets of the past are wrong, my friends...there are no beautiful suicides.
 
 
 
 
 
 
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=Emmi&gender=f
 
 
 
 
 
 
It was just before dawn, when she saw him. Mushroom basket tied round her waist, Shmi Skywalker-Lars had been firing up the power generators so she'd have light to walk by before the suns came up. She was having trouble with the ignition sequence--the phase III switch had stuck, and wouldn't budge from it's 'off' position. Several attempts to loosen it with a hydrospanner had failed, and Shmi had just stepped out the door to fetch Cliegg for help.

Only to have her heart nearly burst from her chest.

Blood trickled from his nose and the corner of his mouth; his arms were crossed over his abdomen and underneath the robes were stained bright red. His blonde hair was matted to his head with dirt and sweat and he stumbled rather than walked as he made his way towards the homestead.

It took her a moment to recognize him. Despite all the intuition she had, it had still been five years. For all his height he might have been a man, but for the eyes--Anakin's ancient eyes, staring out from the face of a teenager, met hers, and the corners of his lips quirked a bit before he collapsed into the sand.

She didn't remember much after that. Cliegg said she had screamed for help, but her only recollection was gathering her baby boy into her arms and weeping until sunsrise.

***
 
 
 
 
 
 
[Reserved Slot]

My KotOR III story is in the works because I wanted to get it planned before I wrote it. :-D

[Characterization Notes--Coming Soon]

[Photolog--Coming Soon]

[Soundtrack--Coming Soon]
 
 
 
 
 
 
Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted a blog. I guess, that's because blogs are usually written when things go wrong, and lately everything's been pretty freaking awesome.

Well, not everything...Mallorie's at InQuest still, and will be for another month, and I miss her like CRAZY. I'm still waiting for my acceptance letter from GA Southern, and up until today I was really nervous about that, but I'm not anymore. Besides the fact that I made a good SAT score (1220!) I realize that if I'm meant to go, I'll get in. God's got it, and worrying doesn't make any difference in whether I make it in or not, so I'm all good.

Casey stopped by to see me yesterday! She's had her surgery, and she looks great. I was so glad to see her; I've had limited human contact lately. We talked for about an hour before she had to go.

I went to J-Fest last week! Twas soooooooooooo much fun! I did some serious bonding with Becky and Allie, and there was some awesome music. I got to meet the lead singer of a local band called Ten Days After...they were really good. When I bought one of their CDs, the guy I met gave me the other one! Just like that...it was pretty cool. Deb was so cute, too...she made a card for little Jeff and got it signed by all the artists. I love her so much! Chris Tomlin was there, and while his music isn't exactly my thing (I'm still pouting about missing the Casting Crowns concert.), he was really good.

Oh! Jesus did something wonderful today. See, we weren't sure if Daddy was going to be able to go on our vacation because of his new job. But he's got an awesome supervisor who gave him the whole week! I was so excited.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. Anybody reading this, I'd love to talk to you. If you want to chat, please send me a message or something! I love you guys,



Em
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ever felt like you've never done anything right?

I don't know. I was okay until I took my lunch break. Then, I started thinking about how healthy I *don't* feel, and the stuff I was eating wasn't helping. Then all of a sudden there was this intense fear that if I ate any more I would like, have a heart attack and die or something.

It was way past irrational. I spent the next hour and a half begging God not to let me die tonight. I'm so scared of death--I've never said that to anyone outright...

I just keep wondering why God is letting me live. Don't take this wrong--I'm not suicidal. Quite the opposite...I'm terrified of dying. But I'm absolutely and utterly useless...I've been a horrible Christian. I question things so much, and I can't tell you how many times I've questioned my faith. Sometimes I wonder things like...if spreading the Word of God is such an important job, why in the universe did he give it to people who are fallible? Why do the very souls of people precious to God have to rely on people who can make mistakes to get the news? Isn't that something too precious to risk?

Those are only a few of the things I've asked, but...I don't know. I'm a Christian, but I hate the church culture.

I'm just so scared. I hate being scared.

I've sort of had this intense fear ever since Holli died. It never really went away...this fear that I'll die in my sleep, or that someone precious to me will die before I can tell them I love them one more time. I hate this feeling, but it's become a part of me.

Listening to John and Mallorie talk today was awesome...I don't know how they do it. I don't come up with stuff like that...they do it so much better than I do. I don't know...I'm just tired of being scared.

Just plain *tired*.

I love my friends so much. Especially Mallorie and Adam...I don't know what I'd do without them. John, too. I love you all so, so, so much.



Em
 
 
 
 
 
 

A few years ago I founded the Skywalker-Jade Revival Society...and now the members of my little group are conducting author interviews. Because I'm Teh Thread Mom (their words, not mine), I got first shot at the interview process. Here's what I posted!



Tell us a little about yourself that is not related to fanfic.

Hi guys! My name is Emily Pritchard, and I live in Dalton, GA. I'm nearly nineteen (March 28th is my birthday!) and I attend Dalton State College. I'm majoring in psychology and criminal justice, and if I get accepted, I plan to move to Statesboro, GA in order to attend GA Southern University, where I will share an apartment with my best friend Mallorie. After college, I plan to apply for a job with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

I have some of the best friends in the world...Mallorie, who shares the other half of my brain, John, who keeps us laughing, and my boyfriend Adam, who is the smartest, sweetest person I know. We all hang out and do non-alcoholic things together. Mallorie and I are rather fond of board-games--our favorites are Apples to Apples and Harry Potter SceneIt. happy

I am a Christian, and I believe that the only way to heaven is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I think music is one of God's greatest gifts to man, and some of my favorite bands are Thrice, My Chemical Romance, and The Dresden Dolls.

One of my life ambitions is to challenge Gerard Way to a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. wink

Besides Star Wars, my favorites fandoms are X-Files, Harry Potter, and (sometimes, when I'm in a weird mood) Sailor Moon.

When did you first start writing fanfic?

In sixth grade. I had just seen Star Wars at the beginning of the summer--I vividly remember purchasing a notebook at summer camp for the sole purpose of writing a story about Star Wars, not knowing that other people did it, too. wink I tried drawing Luke once, too, but sadly, I cannot draw very well. Fan fiction worked out better in that regard.

What was the first fanfic that you read? That you wrote?

The first fanfic that I read? Stars, I don't remember. The first fanfic I read on the boards here was (gasp!) a story called What If Callista... that can still be found on the very last page of the classic boards.

The first fanfic that I wrote was a very horribly written story about an original character who was Luke Skywalker's wife. I think it was meant to be a romance, but after about two pages I got tired of my own character's whining and didn't finish the story. I still keep that written first story folded up in a memory box in my room.

What attracts you to L/M more so than other pairings?

Well, Luke was most defintely my first love. He was a lonely kid, like I was, and then...Mara. Wow. What can I say about Mara Jade? When I was in middle school and most of high school she was my hero. Still is, to an extent...she's everything I want to be with all the strength I want to overcome the hardships that are coming my way. Oh, and I like red hair, too. wink


What do you like best about Luke and Mara's relationship?

Luke's utter acceptance of Mara and what she was. He doesn't just take part of her--he takes all of her, without sugarcoating what she did in the past. It's that kind of acceptance that I've always craved, and that I believe I've finally found in the current relationship I'm in.

What do you like least about it?

It was so poorly handled in the profic...it could have been wonderful, but alas, the only man who can write a decent pairing for Luke can't write romance worth poodoo. It's really quite depressing, actually.

Do you have a favorite - Luke or Mara? Why?

Nope, can't say I do. I love them both equally, but for different reasons.

What is your favorite L/M profic?

Survivor's Quest, hands down. There was a lot of complaining about that book, but I absolutely ADORED it. Luke and Mara worked so flawlessly together--and then when the solution to the mystery finally clicked in Mara's mind--well, I won't spoil it, but it was amazing.

In what other areas of SW fandom are you active?

I'm the founder and president of our local FanForce chapter. We're not very active, but we have fun when we do get together. I'm also very fond of Trivial Pursuit. wink My best friend in high school had it, and we were never able to beat each other...we always tied.

What advice would you give to newer fanfic authors?

Don't give up if you don't get readers right away. Odds are, no one knows who you are yet. Make friends, keep writing, and eventually you'll get better and someone will notice you.

Also--no matter how bizarre the story idea, keep it. Don't dismiss anything...if you think something is bizarre, odds are it's also unique, and might come in handy in the future. happy

 
 
 
 
 
 
Well, I'm not going anywhere exotic because I couldn't get off work, but so far, this week has been pretty relaxing.



Woke up around 10:30, got ready to go out with Adam for lunch, and then we went to Moe's. We talked about being in elementary school and stuff that happened back then ( Have I mentioned that Adam was the kid who told the teacher that 5-7 was -2 and not 0? Hahahahahaha, I am so PROUD.) Apparently, my dad was at Moes and neither of us noticed.



Afterwards I went home. We watched about a half-hour of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before he had to leave. After he left I took a nap, and got up and tried to play Super Star Wars for the SNES on the emulator Adam loaned me. Well, that was HARD. These weird mynock-looking things kept divebombing me and I never got past the first level. I did better on Super Empire Strikes Back (two levels!) and couldn't get past the first level on Return of the Jedi.



Haha, guess I need some more practice.



I did a little better on a game called Young Merlin. Starfleet Academy was okay, but I was too ADDDDDDEFGHIJKROWLINGSTONES to finish the first mission, which went reaaaaaallllly slow.



I think I'm going to give a few more games a try tonight. It's been a pretty relaxing Spring Break...most of my days have been pretty much like that, except for a few hours of work here and there. I have to work tomorrow from five to nine, but it shouldn't be too bad. I hope teh evil manager isn't working, tho...



Anyway, just checking in!



Em
 
 
 
 
 
 
HASH(0x8e1810c)
Remus Lupin
You are looking for someone sweet, intelligent, and

understanding. Although he may have big

troubles to overcome, with you by his side

this wolfman will at least have a

non-judgmental, loving romance.


Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
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